We at PensNation were fortunate enough to get a copy of the list of things Matt Cooke is going to be doing during his recently begun sabbatical. These are transcribed from Mr Cooke's handwriting, so apologies for any mistakes.....
1) Wash Mario's car, twice. Remember not to call him Ace (just ask that jerk from the Flyers who did).
2) Wash Mr Shero's car, once. Remember not to call him Rejean, since he gets all frenchy when you do.
3) Finally get to compare prices between Sam's club and Walmart, and see once and for all if there's any difference.
4) Watch practices in disguise from bleachers, to see if Talbot really puts on the cookie monster mask and elbows everybody in the head as a joke like Tyler Kennedy told me.
5) Come to think of it, TK kinda looks like a rat, I wonder if he's the one that really does it. Ok, I'll watch them both then -- I've got two eyes.
6) Pretend to look into that armpit skin tighening surgery place that Colin Campbell promised would make it impossible to raise elbows. When "Colon" calls to ask how the initial visit went, I'll tell him they were closed for lent, and I'll check it out in the offseason... LOL.
7) Try and find cure for this horrible March Madness, cause I've got it bad!!!!
8) Use some of this extra time to make more prank calls to Alex Omunchkin, or however you spell his name. Although I bet he'll have a lot more time to answer his phone after the first round of the playoffs. (Zing!!!)
9) Watch at least one game on TV to see if Dan Pot Ash looks like as much of a dork on FSN as he does when he's jock-sniffing around the dressing room.
10) More yoga.